I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
