i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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