In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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