everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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