Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
