we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
