In the future we'll all be gay
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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