I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
