ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
