I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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