hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
