Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
