weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
