Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
