Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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