$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
