At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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