to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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