This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
