im drinking this country out of the recession.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
