I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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