Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it glows. i had to have it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
