She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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