:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
