Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
