Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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