finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
