So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
