I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
