You're completely useless in the revolution.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
