Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
