i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
