Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
