She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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