im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
