Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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