I forgot how hot balto sounded
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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