Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
