we have pet lesbian snakes
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
