Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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