look no pants
Little spoons don't ask big questions
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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