I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
