this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
