He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
