I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
