So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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