I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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