we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
