But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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