once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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