the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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