i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
