i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
