Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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