did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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