Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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