That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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